Ghosts in the Nursery

“ Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” ~ Matthew 7: 24
Our money story shapes us in untold ways, affecting how we build our financial house not only today and tomorrow but for the future. I recall reading an article some 35 years ago entitled “Ghosts in the Nursery”, describing how our childhood experiences beginning at birth and in our early formative years, shape the life choices we make. This article has never left me.
Over the years, I have recognized how even my money choices have been impacted by those ‘ghosts in the nursery’.
So, what do I mean by money story?
Our money story is made of our earliest memories of money. This relates to how we save, give, spend and invest. This may seem simple enough but in actuality our earliest memories often have an emotion attached to it.
Think about your earliest memory of money? Can you identify any particular emotion connected with it?
Those close to us, usually our parents, modelled all aspects of finances and helped to shape our worldview of finances. If there was plenty or a lack, we watched how it was spent, saved, given away or invested. For many, money was a source of conflict. Financial discussions were heated and filled the home with tension.
We will have worked an estimated 90,000 hours over the course of our lifetime. Yet, when we stop to think about it, how much time was spent teaching us how to manage our money by our parents or significant others?
If you combine your memories with your own experiences, good, bad or indifferent, how have they impacted your money management? Shame and condemnation are not unusual emotions related to our past money management. You may need to release these memories to the Lord and ask Him to heal them in order for you to move on and change your decision-making processes.
Personally, I have discovered that there is merit in reflecting upon one’s own money story. Sharing those early memories, key past financial decisions and articulating one’s values and perspectives about money are incredibly helpful. Sometimes I journal, sometimes I pray and sometimes I just need to talk about it.
I realized that due to my parent’s frugal nature while growing up, I decided as an adult to enjoy life, regardless of the debt I incurred. As you can imagine this led to significant habits that I had to break.
I also know the importance of taking the time to share with your spouse in an atmosphere prepared by prayer, a lack of judgement and a willingness to hear each other’s journeys with money. These are all important steps in working together and allows you to walk out your own money story and build your own financial house together.
How are you doing with your ‘ghosts in the nursery’?









